Life, gingers and my ideas for my future ♥

Hello again :D i accidentally just put my last post on here again, i dont even know how haha
my life is finally starting to get a tiny bit better, I know what i'm doing in september!! even my teachers are shocked lol and i still really really like gingers (Hayley, i dont even care if random people on the internet know now, gingers are cool :P) hahaha yes i'm a bit weird but i'm sort of happy today yay i'm typing this on the computer in textiles, because i still have no motivation to do anything and its FREEZING in here, (the heating doesnt work again dammit) and my fingers are starting to go numb...
so about college, i'm starting an art and design course in september!!! so excited lol i need a fresh start, new friends, somewhere different :) i went to the open evening on monday, it was amazing, all the people there are really friendly and it all seems more grown up than stuff in the sixth form, plus you dont have to wear a stupid uniform (i hate ties so much and it gives teachers ANOTHER reason to complain about me, just in case they dont have enough already grrrrr) i made a new friend there too, well ok i didnt actually speak to him but i added him on fb then he started talking to me xD he's plays guitar in a band that were playing all evening, he's really funny and easy to talk to (and he's ginger and kinda cute... i'll just shut up now, callum i hope you never ever read this haha xP) and i ended up telling him about my stupid depression and i have anxiety now too grrrrrrr now i'm 18 i've been kicked out of the mental place i went to before, actually that makes it sound really bad!! basically i'm being referred to an adult psychologist instead of a child one, then i can finally get someone to change my medication yay :D i have a new favourite band now and they're called flyleaf :) I'm gonna go and flick more paint around for my textiles coursework now theres no teachers to say i have to go to art instead :P and i will start writing here more often i promise...
keep smiling xxx

p.s. and i'm starting my own shop on etsy to sell stuff i've made and earn some money, more about that soon :)

umm... cant think of a title!!

I'm back xD and I actually feel ok at the moment and its been 6 whole weeks since I last cut myself things aren't that bad at the moment (I still don't use punctuation sorry haha) I'm sitting on my bed in a really tidy room writing chemistry revision notes, my mum thinks I've been kidnapped by aliens LOL she's always telling me to sort my life out and as soon as I do something I'm meant to do everyone goes into shock grrrr I can't win :P I'm going to start writing in this more often but not on the kindle because the keyboard is too annoying I've finally got an idea in my head of what I want to do when I grow up (yes I am nearly 18 years old but I'm still about a zillion miles from being a sensible adult even though I finish sixth form in the summer, scary!!) My dad says it's called civil engineering it's like designing bridges and stuff it would make me think but still be interesting cause I get bored so easily we went to this careers thing and I was going round every stall looking for ideas, and the company I was looking at do apprenticeships yay I still refuse to go to uni though whatever my teachers think of my decision its my life not theirs and I don't think I could cope 1 or 2 happy days does not mean my life is better, there's still a loooong way to go on that haha I've typed loads already there's loads of fireworks outside and theyre so loud but i can't see them I'm trying to catch up on all my textiles work too I'm determined to meet every deadline this year and show everyone that I did learn something from all my mistakes last year haha it was so bad at the end of June I'm so glad half of its over and didn't just give up then like I wanted to, because I knew it would be one of those decisions I'd regret when I'm older... I'm gonna go and make myself a giant mug of coffee now, byeeee (sorry I'm way hyper I've had too many jammy teacake things :P) xxx