Coughs and sneezles spread diseasels

If I have to blow my nose 1 more fudging time before I go to sleep I'm going to lose it 

I've already had to cancel my plans for tomorrow that I was really excited about AND I CAN'T STOP COUGHING AND SNEEZING and I've done nothing productive today except empty and reload the dishwasher and I'll have to drag myself to a supermarket for more tissues on monday and to the pharmacy because I ran out of one of my brain meds (somehow not the sleepy ones though but have now used up my entire stash of extra ones 😭, possibly the reason my moods are wobbly but don't tell E or he'll roll his eyes and tell me to "set a reminder on my phone" like thats ever worked in my entire life) and the who gives a crap toilet rolls look pretty on my bathroom shelf but feel like sandpaper on my nose at this point and I'm worried its going to fall off if I wipe it any more, so many people I know and havent seen recently are ill where did this suddenly come from ugh

ACHOOOO

Did I mention I'm extra miserable when I'm ill? Not that I'm exactly a ray of sunshine at the best of times but AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH (achoo) 

And I just remembered I still haven't booked my flu jab, the yearly stabbings are a highlight in my calendar 💉

And yes the title is from Thomas the Tank engine - the good ones I grew up watching not the newer rubbish version 🚂

Goodnight to everyone except whoever infected me,

K 🤧

Cardboard, noodles and all the rum

So its been an eventful week, I was so excited to come back from Wales a couple of weeks ago and finally live in peace for a few weeks but instead we've had death, germs and a rough time with all my jobs 🙃

The biggest thing this week has been the scissor lift at work being broken so nothing can go in or out on pallets... you don't realise how much this makes a difference until you're dragging 60 cages around every night that are all mixed up because no one can do a whole job of breaking down and the entire warehouse is covered in squashed cardboard to the point there's now orange signs everywhere saying DO NOT USE THE BALER, WE CANT GET IT OUT OF THE BUILDING because the first polite ones they put up did nothing 😂😭 will apparently be fixed next week but they'll have to close the yard for it so one super quiet day with no deliveries and one or two chaotic disaster days while they catch up, I'll be working both of those and will be surviving on cake, sausage rolls and enough cold and flu meds to take down an elephant if its anything like last night when 3 people called in sick! 

Grandmas memorial service is 6 weeks away and it feels like so long before we can properly say goodbye (and on my sisters 18th birthday, way to start official adult life with a bang) Have got a plan for all her lovely plates and bowls and cups and tea set and I can't wait to make the living room all pretty with the glass unit I've found for them, we'll pretend it doesnt currently look like an earthquake happened in here 😬

Had a major wobble about my adhd earlier, its been 3 months since my medication planning appointment and I haven't heard anything yet, it feels like existing is getting harder the closer I get to starting them (like how my bladder always knows when I'm almost home and screams even louder even though I was doing okay half a mile before 🤣) I snapped and sent them an email I'm scared to read back though, I think it was a mix of sob story, anger and apologies oops... E came home while I was seriously debating asking around for drug dealers that might have methylphenidate just so I could get some actual work done thats been piling up for weeks, interestingly his biggest issue with that was the possibility of it being laced with something not the fact its illegal and I'm broke so I ate half a bag of m&ms and got in the shower to calm down - that was a bad idea because its draining really slow and as the plumber in this house thats a me problem so I was standing in my own tears and shampoo bubbles while raging about the state of this house, everything from the fridge to the loft to my sock drawer and even my phone is a mess (20,000 emails, 600 apps and a bunch of updates I've ignored 😳) 

This is getting long but I'm feeling surprisingly chatty tonight, E is upstairs doing stuff on his game and my brain spaghetti is spaghettiing and Brucifer is snoring, would have no interest in typing this much if I was talking to a person! I've decided I'm going to try all kinds of things on noodles because stir fry sauce is nice but boring- tonight we had peri peri chicken that was 8.5/10 (couldn't make it too spicy because E is not a fan but it was just hot enough to help me breathe through my nose again!) I'll try it with taco mix next time, I bet pizza stuff would work well too with pepperoni and cheese and garlic 🍜

Oooo just dropped my phone and the camera opened, the last photo i put on here was those crumpets I made and I NEED to make them again asap! Also finally got really good at waffles, might have people round for a breakfast party one day 😆

Ive spent the whole week drinking endless cups of honey and lemon which I think has helped except now I've run out of lemon juice, lime wouldnt be the same, whiskey is supposed to be good in it but I don't have any of that (think it got used up on all the times I glugged a bit before going to see E's mum, one of the many reasons I don't drive there hahaha) so I'm onto hot honey and rum for the next couple of days! 

Time for bed, cuddles with fatty splatty and as many episodes of 2 broke girls as I can manage before my eyes close, goodnight!

K x 

Time flies when you're (not) having fun

Oops its been a year! And surprise surprise I'm still crying on the sofa (although the last year has been less rough than it could've been) 

Biggest 💔 of the week - Grandma died... It shouldn't have been a surprise for someone who was 90, had dementia and could barely recognise her own family but she'd been living on pure rage and spite for the last 20 years and I couldn't imagine her not living to 100 

My delayed emotional reactions are only running 6 days behind this time and I've snot cried through half a box of tissues while wearing the last cardigan she knitted, the guilt of not seeing her over the last 10 years is killing me, I visited her in hospital once and realised going again wouldn't benefit her or me and making that decision broke me but I think it was the right one, i won't be haunted by memories of her at her worst and can focus on happier memories like the time we got completely lost up the hill and when the cows were chasing us 

Crying about death has reminded me of all the other people that have died and my eyes are puffy and my head hurts

Have also been crying buckets about having to sell my van, I might be swapping to a nearly identical one but it's not the same, I've had Tinkerbell since 2019 and I get attached, I know I was sad when I sold my car but I'd only had it for 18 months at that point and it hadn't been with me through all the job and life changes etc

Maybe I'll share some happier stuff soon, my life is chaos but not all bad (still wouldn't say no to running away with the circus if that opportunity ever presents itself)

K x