I have a complicated incredibly dysfunctional family and a large chunk of this comes from religion (but not all of it, my cousins husband thought he could fix the rest when he married into it but quickly realised that some things will never change hahaha) I grew up as a JW and my mums family partly were but her sister did what I did 25 years ago and left it all when she met her husband and now he's dead and we last saw them at our wedding 7 years ago and I'm wiping my tears on one of my cats and wishing we'd seen them more and of all the funerals I'd been expecting to go to (haven't had a single one since I left) that didn't even cross my mind, I can't imagine how her and my cousins feel
Todays message digging found the day my grandad died - 14th December 2014... I feel terrible saying this but I'd forgotten the exact date, just knew it was a December and the funeral was early Jan... he'd been really ill for a while but had just been moved to a care home, we were all excited for him to have the room with the big window to see the main road with all the lorries (he used to be a lorry driver for Burtons biscuits) and he didn't survive one night, I was planning to see him when he was in hospital but people said wait 24 hours and he'll be in a much nicer place and I'll never forgive myself for listening, the last time I saw him was in his coffin and I finally got to give him a hug and tell him how much I loved him but that would've been so much better if he was still alive
Tell the people you love how much you love them every day, you never know when it might be your last chance and there's so many people I wish I could say it to now, I know the disfellowshipped thing is on me but there's a lot of people the other side of that fence that mean a lot to me and I hope they know it
More tears tomorrow
K x
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