Sunshine, spotify and so much sleep...

Last night was the deepest sleep I've had for so long, felt like I woke up on another planet! Only weird dream I could remember was being given some kind of English exam with no instructions, but it was more like an encyclopedia with gaps to fill in and I was doing anything possible to avoid it until I found the page about ikea furniture then suddenly I knew what I was doing 😂 definitely not the strangest I've had recently (one a couple of months back involved my grandma running the mafia from the plant room at our old kingdom hall, no idea where all this comes from!)

The sun is shining and that always helps how I feel about life, does remind me of all the things I should clean but that's a problem for another day haha I've got all the windows open and music playing and clean bedding and 1 out of 3 cats is napping in the sunny spot and I kind of feel like I can breathe for once? Have finally stopped playing music that makes me sad on repeat (mostly country and a safetysuit album that my spotify recommened - that had exactly the right level of misery!) only cried once this morning, tbf wet black silicone is enough to make anyone cry especially when the adhd helped you lose the entire tub of good tools for it and you just want to wash your hair and the magical spray is mostly empty from being spilled over the back of the van so many times 

Might do lots of baking today, it's been a while and I have my lovely new mixer to play with so my stupid arms don't have to do anything that could cause a fibro flare up and cookies make everything better, I'm still the cookie monster and even have the right colour hair atm 😆 

I love having this back, there were 3 people that knew about it and 99.9% sure they've all forgotten, even E doesn't know so if anything happens I'm just gone without leaving paper evidence of feelings - not planning to die but the grim reaper is on a roll atm! I'm still mourning the many many exercise books I got through in sixth form, they had some really funny stuff that's gone forever but no one is burning this bitch anymore (except me because I still have to use a blowtorch sometimes 😆) Just remembered I can add photos and stuff and make this page like a proper secret scrapbook! That's a tomorrow thing though, should probably start on the stack of quotes I've been avoiding for weeks booooooo 👎

Bye for now 

K x